


Pet Rock

by genericfanatic



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Babies, Gen, one mention of sex, shay/hunk if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-24 23:45:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14964512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genericfanatic/pseuds/genericfanatic
Summary: Lance wants Hunk to get a pet. A trip to the Balmera may fulfill his wish.





	Pet Rock

**Author's Note:**

> if you are easily angered by terrible fake science this may upset you. I made up so much.

“What about a hamster? A cute space hamster?”

Hunk hummed, unsure, “I dunno, I’m not much for animals that have to be kept in cages for their own protection. Like, I get scared enough of the mice getting stuck somewhere, but at least Allura can speak to them. 

“Mmmmmk,” Lance said, crossing it off the list. “A fish?”

“I can’t cuddle with a fish man.” Hunk said, taking the muffins out of the oven. “Look, I don’t NEED a pet.”

“Yes, you do,” Lance said, tapping his pencil on the table as he thought, “I have Kaltenecker, Pidge has those….slipper looking things...Allura has mice, and now Keith has a cosmic wolf. You deserve a space pet.”

Hunk sighed, taking a toothpick and checking the muffins to see they were all the way cooked. “Shiro doesn’t have a space pet.”

“I think at this point Keith counts as his space pet,” Lance said, “I mean, have you seen him lately, the dude’s practically turning into a cat.”

Hunk snorted. “Look, I appreciate the sentiment, really, but I don’t need one. Besides, I see how hard it is on you guys taking care of them in your lions. I don’t want to do that to an animal if I can help it.”

Lance grumped. Hunk was right, it was difficult now that they were all sectioned off in their lions. They had communications up all the time, and Coran, Romelle, Krolia, and sometimes Shiro or Keith (depending on which one was up to piloting that day) would switch it up between which lion they rode in just for the sake of variety, but still a good deal of the time, Lance was tucked away with just Kaltenecker for company as they flew back, road tripping their way to Earth. That’s why they valued moments like these where they got to spend a night on a friendly planet, with warm beds and, to Hunk’s delight, a kitchen. 

“But you’d take such good care of an animal!” Lance said, “you’re like pet owner material down to a T!”

“Aww,” Hunk said, smacking Lance away from stealing a muffin before they were cool. “That’s really sweet. But I’m just not looking for one right now.” 

Lance scowled, both at Hunk’s comment, and his blockage from muffins. “We’ll see about that, Mr. Yellow Paladin. We’ll see.”

 

“What about a cat?” Pidge said over the intercom. 

Hunk sighed. Instead of letting things go, like a normal friend, Lance had recruited the rest of the Paladin gang into his brainstorm. 

“Wouldn’t the lions take offense to that?” Keith said, “I mean, they’re kinda like our cats.”

“There, see?” Hunk said, “I already have a pet, his name’s yellow and I love him very much.”

“I remember my first pet,” Coran said, “My mother gave me a Targellian Moctoglan. Oh, I still remember the way it tried to strangle me with its little tentacles.”

There was silence over the intercom as they all processed exactly what Coran had said. “There’s so many directions I could go with this…” Lance muttered, almost to himself. 

“Nope,” Shiro cut him off, “We’re not going in any of the directions.” Lance groaned. “Hunk, if you want a pet, the most important thing is your bond with them. It’s important to develop a mutual relationship so you both can get the most out of it.”

“Shiro, when have YOU ever adopted a pet?” Keith asked, still over the intercom even though they were next to each other. 

“I adopted you, didn’t I?” Shiro said. 

“HA!” Lance shouted, “See Hunk? I told you!”

Any response Hunk might have had was drowned out by the sounds of clunks and clanks coming from the cockpit of the Black Lion. Slowly, the lion started to drift off course. “Um,” Krolia’s hesitant voice came through, “The boys seem to be busy, anyone know how to fly this thing?”

Sighing in defeat, Allura flew over and grabbed ahold of the black lion, guiding it until it’s paladins were finished fighting. “Pet ownership is a wonderful experience, Hunk. If you get the chance, I encourage it highly.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Hunk said, more wanting to end the conversation than anything, “Oh look, we’re coming up on the Balmera.”

The black lion started moving on its own again as the winner of the fight (whoever it was) took back control. The Balmera was next on their list of friendly planets to visit on their way back to Earth. Hunk couldn’t wait to see the crystals and the people and the sunsets…

“Hunk just wants to see his giiiiirrrlllfriiiieeennd,” Pidge sang in her most annoying voice. 

“Is it ‘bug Hunk day’ or something? ‘Cause I missed the memo.” 

“Silly Hunk,” Lance said, “With friends like us, EVERY day is ‘bug Hunk day.’”

Hunk groaned as the Lions moved in on the planet. 

They weren’t surprised to see a gathering of Balmerans on the planet’s surface, the people of the planet always had a warm greeting for them whenever they arrived. What WAS surprising was when they landed, the crowd didn’t come over to greet them. They seemed to barely notice the giant ship that had just landed on their planet at all.

Confused, the paladins made their way over to the crowd. The first Balmeran to actually acknowledge their presence was thankfully Shay, who fought her way through the pressing crowd to greet them. “Paladins! You’re just in time!” 

“Shay!” Hunk said excitedly, going to hug her, “In time for what?”

“The Balmera!” Shay said, “It’s budding!” 

“What?” Hunk asked, but Coran actually jumped in joy, giving an undignified squeak. 

“A budding? A real budding? And we get to see it?!!?!!?!” Coran said bouncing on his heels like a child. Shay nodded, and before anyone could stop him, he’d taken off through the crowd, determined to make it to the center. 

Shay grabbed Hunk’s hand and followed him into the throng of balmerans, the other paladins fighting their way to come in after them. 

Once the Balmerans started to realize it was the Voltron Paladins coming through, they were more willing to open up for them, but they quickly filled back in, none wanting to lose their spot. 

“What is it?” Pidge managed to ask the question they were all thinking first, “What’s a budding?”

“It only happens every few thousand millenia!” Coran said happily, “A Balmera will grow a crystal sac from which it will grow it’s offspring, and then release them into the atmosphere!”

“Offspring?” Shiro asked, trying to be respectful as he weaved his way forward, “The Balmera’s having a baby?”

“Not just one baby!” Coran said, “HUNDREDS of babies!!”

The paladins came up to the center of the crowd, standing over a giant pit with a large blue-white crystal dome in the center. Already cracks had started to form along its surface. 

The paladins (and guests) watched eagerly as the cracks in the crystal grow. “So, am I the only one thinking it?” Lance asked, finally. The others turned to him. “Who knocked up a planet?” Several of them groaned. Keith whacked him upside the head. “Whaaat? It’s a legitimate question!” 

“Balmera don’t reproduce sexually, Lance.” Coran said, like an overly patient health teacher, “When they reach a certain age, they’ll re-direct energy from their crystal growing and focus it to create nearly identical spheres, each encoded with the DNA of the mother Balmera. These spheres will slowly develop their own magnetic field to replicate gravity. As we’re seeing now, those fields will build, bouncing off from one another, until they burst through the crystal shell!”

“So, they produce asexually?” Pidge asked, pushing up her glasses.

“Exactly, Number 5,” Coran said. 

Pidge smiled and squatted on the ground, “Ace pride, Balmera,” and high-fived the rock-face.

Just as she struck the dirt, one of the largest cracks opened wide, so they could see just a sliver of black within. “Woah, those training exercises really worked,” Pidge said, looking at her arm. 

“It wasn’t your little hit, Pidge,” Allura said, “It’s hatching!” Something banged on the inner walls, and the crowd went silent, everyone holding their breath. 

Finally, a burst of crystalline orbs burst out of the crack, shattering the crystal beneath it. The swarm of orbs shot up into the sky, flying in formation like a flock of birds around the atmosphere. “Where are they going?” Keith asked in an awed voice.

“They’ll orbit the planet as a ring of moons for a century or so,” Coran said, watching them fly up, “Then, as they grow and combine with one another, they’ll drift off, flying through as rogue comets, until they settle into their own solar systems.”

Team Voltron watched as the mini planets rose up, forming their own trajectories up in the sky. It looked like they were slowing down, but they knew that was only an illusion from their point on the ground. “Aw,” Lance said, “It’s like a bunch of little ducklings following their mama through the universe.”

“I don’t know what a duck is,” Coran said, “But the metaphor seems right.” 

The silence dispersed as other groups of Balmerans turned to each other, chatting about what they saw, to the point Hunk almost missed a noise right by his feet. 

It was a ‘klunk’ sound as something hit the ground. Looking, he saw one of the tiny crystal spheres, rise a few feet up off the dirt, and then fall right back down. “Coran, look,” Hunk said, bending down to pick the little orb up, “This one didn’t make it into the atmosphere.”

“Oh dear,” Coran said, coming over to look at it. “Unfortunately, there are runts in every species. This one probably doesn’t have enough of a magnetic field to fight it’s mother’s gravity.” 

“Well what do we do?” Hunk said, cradling it in his hands. The orb floated again, no longer falling, but not gaining much height either, “Maybe we can take it up in the ship? To help it break into the atmosphere.”

“I’m afraid it wouldn’t do much good,” Coran said, “Without a magnetic field of it’s own, it will most likely crumble away to dust in the atmosphere. Best chance is for it to remain here and be re-absorbed into it’s mother. 

“That’s it?” Hunk said. He wasn’t sure if a baby Balmera could hear, but the little orb seemed distressed with the way it was shaking, “It’ll just….crumble either way?”

“Well,” Coran said, “I suppose if it was taken to a more neutral atmosphere to stay in most of the time, where they wouldn’t be affected by their mothers and siblings magnetic energy, it might have a chance, but there are any number of things that could happen to a lone balmera that size without it’s mother.”

“When you say neutral environment,” Pidge said, “Do you mean, like….Voltron?” They all raised an eyebrow at her. “It’s a weird inter-dimensional rock, essentially, it doesn’t have the same magnetic fields as rocks from our universe.”

Coran sighed. “Theoretically….yes, that would do. But it would still need someone to take care of it.” 

Pidge smiled at Hunk, shortly followed by Lance. Soon, everyone on their team was looking at Hunk in some measure expectantly.

Hunk sighed and held out his hand. The orb floated over to him and rested there. “Looks like I’m adopting a crystal ball.”

 

“I’m going to call ‘em ‘Mera’” Hunk said, the next day as they flew off to their next destination (Arus). Mera orbited happily around his shoulders. It was hard to truly appreciate what were signs of affection when your pet was a perfect sphere, but he liked to think they were happy.

“Short for ‘Balmera?” Lance asked, “I like it.”

Hunk smiled. “You’re just glad because this means you win you’re argument.”

“That too, that too,” Lance said, and Kaltenecker mooed in agreement over the intercom. “Aaaugh! Kaltey, my hair is not hay! We’ve been over this!”

Hunk and the others laughed at him. Hunk didn’t think he could have chosen a better pet. At least his lion wouldn’t end up smelling like a barn.


End file.
